A Day in the Life of a Gooner
The Descent
These days, I can’t get out of bed without edging. I pull up some YouTube ASMR on my phone and slowly rub my penis over my comforter, careful not to push myself over the edge. Once my neurons have released enough dopamine to motivate me to move, my routine is fairly normal. I wash my face, brush my teeth, put on some comfortable clothes (for ease of access), and make myself some fried eggs for breakfast. I’m unemployed, so I don’t go to work.
My only goal in life is to perfect the art of gooning. One must steadily build anticipation, curate the right material for each stage, and make sure not to finish too early, or too late. Extended arousal exhausts the nervous system and reduces the ability to experience pleasure at its peak.
Once I’m ready for the day, I doomscroll through Twitter, or watch anime in bed. Both these activities allow me to ease into a proper goon session. Like irl sexual activity, spontaneity and subtlety make gooning more exciting. Asking a girl before kissing her, or announcing one’s desire to have sex, always kills the vibe. Equivalently, the perfect goon session is organic, it happens in a moment of passion. It is only tasteless men who view gooning as a utilitarian activity to deal with intrusive sexual urges, rather than a form of art.
It starts with peripheral cues, a mainstream meme depicting a fully clothed JAV actress, a thirst trap from a recently married e-girl, Rin Tohsaka’s perky, pear sized breasts. This is analogous to slightly prolonged eye contact, a moment of silence when alone together, wetting one’s lips, lightly stroking the contours of her hand. Next thing you know, you’ve downloaded that meme featuring the pornstar and passed it through a reverse image search, but you must stop yourself. You should never simply whip out your cock and start pounding, first there has to be some foreplay. Now the stage is set.
Today, I decide to scroll through Twitter. The timeline is full of coal and my mutuals are retweeting AI generated slop of anime girls with oversized breasts. I don’t understand “boob guys” and “ass guys,” it’s all about the ratio for me. This won’t do. I keep scrolling. There is some discourse about the H-1B visa, apparently Elon Musk wants to be able to hire low cost software engineers from India, I pay it no mind.
I finally come across something that catches me eye. I follow a Canadian e-girl who’s feed is her stream of consciousness. She posts about the books she’s reading, ideas she has about the world, tv shows she’s watching, pictures of her food, and days out with friends. She seems so innocent, and has youthful, almost East Asian features. Occasionally she posts tasteful thirst traps, the infrequency and unexpectedness of which appeal to true connoisseurs: a selfie with her nipples visible through her t-shirt, a picture of herself in a skirt that’s too short, revealing sheer, black panties underneath. What girls post for free, for their own voyeuristic pleasure, has more erotic tastefulness than anything they post for money. Today it’s a post that’s ostensibly about her boots, but she’s dressed only in lingerie. This is all deliberate, but presented as unintentional, and none of us break the illusion. We are all kindred spirits on the internet.
At this point I’m semi-hard. I continue to scroll down her timeline, ignoring her text posts. At one point, I switch to her media tab, which filters out everything but pictures and videos, making it easier to find the suggestive content. I open each thirst trap in a new tab, creating a gallery like experience for myself. I start to lightly stroke my penis over my covers, as I did this morning.
Unlike real sex, gooning involves endless novelty. We can leverage the Coolidge effect to extend and perpetually renew sexual arousal. It’s time to find something new. I leave my previous tabs open and head to 4chan, which I still find relevant in this day and age. There’s a board called /wsg/ (Worksafe GIF), where people create webm threads. Again, I’m looking for something suggestive, but not explicit. I start scrolling and find a thread labelled “TikTok girls.” The content is more explicit than what I found on Twitter, mostly of girls bouncing their tits, ass, or both, in time to the latest viral hit. I can see their usernames in the videos, and look up the ones I like on TikTok. Most of them have “Yes, I have one” written in their bio, along with a Linktree.
I have a policy of not paying for porn. Once information is uploaded on the internet, it only takes one person to make it public domain, accessible to all until the end of human history. “Exclusive” content is archived by altruistic gooners and can be accessed on several different websites. I’ve heard that people subscribe to it because it offers a paid form intimacy, but I do not require intimacy to goon. A true gooner takes pride in solitude, he embraces the simulacrum.
Individual TikTok profiles are another layer of screening. My favorite genre is one where girls, feigning unawareness, reveal the faint outline of their nipples or vaginas in their videos. There was once a subreddit called /r/tiktokseethrough that curated this kind of content, but it was banned, as most good subs are. Today, I am forced to search manually, but am willing to sink time into this great endeavour. I find several videos of what I’m looking for and open the best ones in their own tabs.
It’s been two hours so far, time seems to melt away as I process gigabytes of information. My next step is to enter the usernames of my favorite girls into an image search to find “content” ripped from paid sites or deliberately posted across the internet for marketing purposes. This is how I first see the fully exposed female form—it always comes as titillating shock, even though I’ve seen thousands of nude women on the internet. I am now fully erect. Pre-cum leaks out from my penis, but this is only the beginning.
The path to orgasm is exponential. My initial searches are measured, but they increase in intensity at an accelerating pace. My exploration is a non-binary tree, with each new discovery leading to several more. I occasionally stop and delete a few tabs, pruning content I find less stimulating, or open a new browser window to make it easier for me to navigate.
I have an Asian fetish. I used to reject the idea that beauty standards are cultural, but the shift in popular preferences, in tandem with my own, from white girls to Los Angeles ABGs and K-pop lookalikes, has changed my mind. Novelty is essential to gooning, so I never limit myself to one ethnicity, but Asians hit differently. One of the girls I found on TikTok is Koryo-saram camgirl, ethnic Koreans who migrated to Russia and now live across the post-Soviet states. Most Asian camgirls who market themselves as Korean or Japanese are actually Russian minorities. I find her Instagram and it turns out that she’s attending medical school in China. While I conduct this research, I am stroking my cock. I take my underwear off, lube up, and use my comforter as makeshift pocket pussy. I never spend money on gooning.
The girl I’ve been researching has most of her camshows uploaded to a popular camsite, and organized into playlists by other gooners. I find dozens of hour long videos, but I don’t watch any of them in their entirety. I open videos I like in new tabs, and skip to the best parts. What stands out to me is her pee content. Her mischievous smile as she squats over the camera and releases a golden stream directly onto the lens, is delightful. She doesn’t pretend that she’s “squirting,” no, this girl is truly filthy. She’s the one.
At this point, I had been on the edge of orgasm for hours. However, just before climax, I would stop stroking, let my penis throb for a few moments as the feverish pleasure dissipated, and then start again. I find a video of her dancing, while letting off streams of pee at regular intervals. She does it on her floor, unmindful that it might get all over her stuff, and seep into her carpet. It’s clear that she enjoys this. I can’t hold myself back. This time, all takes is a few strokes for me to climax. I cum directly into my comforter, convulsing with pleasure. Stopping to find tissues, or running to bathroom sink would only interrupt the process and dampen the pleasure. It has been five hours. Any longer, and my initial orgasm fades in intensity.
Sexual arousal can be enhanced by disgust. Something that would otherwise inspire revulsion in a state of sobriety, becomes a source of ecstasy. I stand at the edge of the abyss. What lies beyond piss? It fills me with horror that it might arouse me, and that thought fills me with pleasure. Pain is pleasure, disgust is pleasure, anxiety is pleasure, humiliation is pleasure. In these moments, the world is inverted and nothing matters but the present. It is this rapture that I am dedicated to, that I dream of at night.
During my brief refractory period, the reason why sex was sacred for much of human history becomes clear to me, why it was gated behind ritual and norms of modesty. Even for deviants, the act required two people, barring novelty and easy access. Today simulated sex is widely available to all, for free, and it drives us inwards, away from society, into digital isolation.
I go five more times after my initial climax, until my sheets are encrusted with hardened semen, to which I add a new layer each time. I revisit old videos that stood out, I find new content to add to my mental collection. I cum to a video of a girl walking in public with cum all over her face, a video of a girl deep-throating a dildo until she throws up, a YouTube try on haul with several wardrobe malfunctions, an uncensored JAV video involving one girl and at least fifty men, and a video of an old man fucking a girl in her twenties. The final video makes my feel sick after I’m done. When sober, I appreciate beauty, but in a state of pornographic bliss, I revel in its desecration, in aesthetic decay, and the inversion of nature. Therein lies the art of gooning.
After I’m done, I clean up and change my sheets. I’m no degenerate. I don’t have a cum sock, or a cum wall, my sheets aren’t always encrusted in cum, I don’t do cum tributes, I don’t like cum all over my stuff. I thoroughly clean any mess with Clorox wipes, followed by wet tissues. I shower and go out to pick up some groceries. Then I make dinner and play my favorite gacha game until an hour past midnight. Finally, I get ready for bed, and go to sleep.